Un-Halo-A Parody of Halo

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and Red Death

[edit] Characters

• The Un-United Nations Sandwitch Command-Funny dudes.
• De-Covenant-They always disagree.
• Forewalker-Has no technology whatsoever;[Category:Useless race]

[edit] Story

Warning: tis is vely confuzifying.

SAUSAGE Bob 123 sat in the Armory of the UNSC Reuben, waiting for his "big surprise".

As part of the SAUSAGE supersoldier project, he was to get a special suit of armor, superior to anything any other UNSC member used. It was known as Project: EGG SALAD.

As he was waiting a flying sardine came into the Armory and said,

"Your armor is ready SAUSAGE 123. Go to the bridge."

Flying Sardines (also called FS) were essensial to the UNSC. They were space jumpers, and always land to in the thick of the battle which the UNSC called as the Fish Pot. They were known to catch the enemy "with their pants down. They were also down-right hyper and they act like fishies.

Bob sighed in relief as he is the first one to wear the armour. He's been trained under the order of ONI (Onion's Nice Ideas) people. As he apeared at the bridge he saw the armour. It was almost laughable. It was sausage shaped oblisly.

"The armour has oil so it can protect you better." The Tech said.

Bob nodded. He had achieved the rank of Milky Chef Patty Officer, and as a result got more protection than most soldiers.

He donned the armor and realized it smelt delicious. He wondered about the tactical merit of this idea, as on the battlefield he face the Glutes, giant fleshy monsters bent on destroying humanity. They were also fat and liked to eat almost anything. The armor would surely make them crazy.

He was then taken to back to the armory to receive his weaponry.

The Pizza of Hatred sat upon its anti-gravity pan pondering the meaning of life.

Suddenly, a Major Grape burst through the door, panting heavily. "Holy One, we have discovered the United Nations Sandwitch Command headquarters... planet Earth!"

The Pizza of Hatred's cheese curled into a smile... as much as was physically possible.

"Show us."he said.

A screen showed up.Then, suddenly he heard voices in the background which were actually grapes arguing.

"What th-...Thats not Earth! Thats an Onion ring! All its features are the same as the first one we found!" A grape argued.

"Nope, it is Earth because I feel my insides with Fruit and Veggie hatred." Another grape argued.

The Pizza couldn't take it anymore. "Quiet!" he yelled. "Let the De-Covenant bring down humanity with hot ketchup sauce! Let us wipe out the Humans and continue our Great Milky Journey!"

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