Main Page
From Woot Wiki
| Welcome to Woot Wiki
Woot-Off Checkers | Woot-Off | Bag of Crap | Www.woot | Wine.woot | Shirt.woot | Woot on Wikipedia About this site · All pages (624) · Categories · New pages (Create) Community · Active users · Admins · Help Saturday, October 11, 2008
Description: (click show to see it)
Let's face it: a lot of you dudes out there have no idea how to treat a lady. On the rare occasion when you do charm, flatter, cajole, or blackmail a woman into spending time with you, you miss a key opportunity to win her over by not giving her a gift on your first date. Even a small token of affection can go a long way to make her favorably disposed to you, possibly avoiding tension, embarassment, and costly litigation later. As a public service to the lonely and/or unsettling and/or excessively sweaty single man, here's our guide to first-date gifts. Chocolate: sweet and indulgent, yes. And harmful to your date's health, and habit-forming, and probably harvested by some 8-year-old slave in Sierra Leone. What is wrong with you, you monster? Flowers: on the one hand, everybody likes flowers, and there's not much confusion about what they mean. On the other hand, it's a little predictable. And unless you're picking her up at her place, they'll be kind of a burden for her to tote around all night. Also, consider the insect pests that may be lurking among the petals. For instance, a botfly maggot will chew its way into a person's body and gorge itself for weeks until it becomes so distended and bloated from its meals of human flesh that it pops out through the skin. Not the kind of impression you hope to make on a first date! <a href="http://wine.woot.com/">Wine</a>: while it can be useful in sussing out important characteristics about your date - if she pops it open on the spot and starts drinking, run the other way - it also says "I'm trying to lower your inhibitions so I can have my way with you." Some women may be turned off by this message. Firearms: a thoughtful and practical gift, but studies show that most shooting victims are shot by people they know. Don't become a statistic. A brand new car: for guys who like to come on strong, this could be just the thing. Be warned, though - if the evening goes poorly, etiquette dictates that it's rude to ask for it back. Paper clips: not recommended, unless you met through an online paper-clip-fetishist forum, or one of the many dating services that cater to office-supply enthusiasts. The HP Pavilion s3401f Slimline Dual Core 2.6 GHz Desktop PC: the Athlon 64 X2 (B) 5000+ 2.6 GHz (65W) base processor says "I like to move fast", but the 360gb 7200 RPM SATA hard drive says "I'll give you your space." 6 USB ports suggest that you're open-minded. And rare indeed is the woman who can resist a man bearing integrated 10/100 Base-T networking interface with Wireless LAN 802.11 b/g. Everybody hates Windows Vista, so you'll have a shared interest to talk about during those awkward moments. It's true what they say: the way to a woman's heart is through her HP Pavilion s3401f Slimline Dual Core 2.6 GHz Desktop PC. Warranty: 1 Year HP Authorized for <a href="http://www.woot.com/Blog/ViewEntry.aspx?Id=5728">SquareTrade</a> Extended Warranty st_widget.create({bannerStyle : 'wide', widgetType : 'quote', itemCondition : 'new', itemPrice : 349.99, merchantID : 'subscrip_014793207843'});
</script> Features:
Specifications:
</span> In the box:
Got some updated prices? Click here and update them!
Description: (click show to see it)
1st place in Derby #63 with 790 Votes! You can do <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u-KMFxzA_Lk">anything</a> with sound these days. With a little bit of work you can take your mom's sweet voice and turn it into some creepy Darth Vader sounding robo-thing. The military has been experimenting with weapons that turn a baby's cry into a concentrated beam of annoyance going right into the enemy's ear. And <a href="http://audacity.sourceforge.net/">software programs</a> make it so easy to see the music. We've gotta ask, has anyone tried to play the stock market yet? Maybe it sounds like the Chemical Brothers or the Wu-Tang Clan. If a tree falls in the woods, does anyone care what it looks like? No, of course not! There's no debate at all! But hundreds of thousands of monks have become enlightened thinking about the sound. We're not saying this makes the ears more important. We're just saying, maybe eye lobbyists have more influence than you think. And maybe you should pay a little more attention to those forgotten heroes on the side of your head. Especially the left one. Ugh. Do you even know what a Q-Tip is? This shirt was designed by: the Grand Pastu. That's like the Godfather but with ravioli. If you ask on his daughter's wedding day he'll give you any filling you want, from ricotta to fresh sausage. But cross him and you'll wake up to a lasagna in your... oh, sorry, Grandpa Stu! We misunderstood the spacing. Wear this shirt: if you're trying to be an updated "serious" version of Marvel Comics bad guy Klaw. You probably will also want a mohawk or a skateboard or maybe a lemur sidekick. But don't smoke. Smoking means Vertigo. And once you go Vertigo, you never come back. They're the big boy pants of the comic world. Don't wear this shirt: at the library. No one likes it when you get clever with the rules. People are trying to read in peace. Jerkface. This shirt tells the world: "Wavin'! I'm wavin'! I'm wavin', wavin', wavin'!" We call this color: Black Tie Black Noise Design Placement: Centered Design Size: Pantone Color(s): 297C - 282C Please check American Apparel's sizing chart <a title="http://www.americanapparel.net/sizing/default.asp?chart=mu.shirts" href="http://www.americanapparel.net/sizing/default.asp?chart=mu.shirts" target="_blank">for men</a> or <a title="http://www.americanapparel.net/sizing/default.asp?chart=womens.shirts" href="http://www.americanapparel.net/sizing/default.asp?chart=womens.shirts" target="_blank">for women</a> before you order. The Woot Tee, constructed by American Apparel, follows their classic closer-fitting style. If you prefer a baggier look, order a larger size. If there is not a larger size, consider starting a belly-hanging-out trend.
Description: (click show to see it)
More fun than a political party, more alcoholic than a Tupperware party, and more hygienic than a key party: it's a Port party! Kent Rasmussen's Esoterica label put these six bottles together as kind of a Port erector set, letting you see the simple parts that make up the complex machinery of Iberia's sweetest contribution to human happiness. It's an all-in-one Port party kit. And you won't find it anywhere but here. See, the way they do it in Portugal, Port is typically a blend of various varietals. But, inspired by a couple of Portuguese interns with Port experience, Kent Rasmussen tried an interesting educational experiment. He mixed up a pretty standard Port from five component California grapes - but he left enough of each varietal to bottle them each individually, too. So you can taste the Tempranillo, Sous�o, Tinta C�o, Touriga Nacional, and Trousseau on their own, each with a distinctive, unique character. And then see how they harmonize in golden sweetness with the Proportional Blend. Whole, greater, sum, parts, etc. So ring up your tasting buds. Get six glasses down from the cabinet. Enjoy the rare opportunity to taste several individual Port varietals. And be amazed at the flavors they conjure up when combined. Once your guests take a sip from the Esoterica Port Medley, they just might want to skip the main course and get right to dessert. 2004 California Tempranillo Dessert Wine (Tinta Roriz)
04 California Sous�o
04 California Tinta C�o
04 California Touriga (Touriga Nacional)
04 California Trousseau (Bastardo)
04 California Dessert (Blend of all the above)
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
